It has been a week of highs and lows…I’ve had a stark reminder to embrace life, but thankfully for me, the positive things that are taking shape and happening are starting to outweigh the not so positive.
I continue to learn lessons. Life is a funny thing, but in the end, all the pieces seem to fall into place. In between the uncertainties, I just have to continue laughing at the confusion, living for the moments, and knowing that everything happens (or in my case doesn’t happen) for a reason – the universe may have a plan for me, but I have even bigger and better plans!
So what have I learnt?
Life’s Too Fucken Short
Life can really suck at times; there’s just no other way to say it. Having now lost both a close family member and good friend in the same horrific way in the short space of a year is just another grim reminder that life is way too short and we shouldn’t take any moment or person for granted.
Do what feels right instead of waiting and asking too many extraneous questions, because we just never know what’s going to happen – unfortunately, there’s zero guarantee about tomorrow, which is why we should all just step back, get our priorities right, and do what makes us happy with the people that make us happy.
It’s also a reminder to me that those unspoken words that I sometimes just can’t bring myself to speak, should be said, because more often than not these are the words that need to be heard (one day, maybe I’ll find the courage, and maybe one day, it’ll be way too late).
This brings me to relationships…
I don’t idealize objects, and I’m trying my hardest not to be a slave to technology and social media…I don’t want to be one of those people who’s forever stuck to my phone while in the company of others.
What matters most to me are the people in my life. We can all be a little self-centered at times, but with those who matter, I’m going to make more of a concerted effort to put them first every single day, before everything – I need to show my people that they are everything to me and they’re my number ones.
Intelligence is the Ultimate Aphrodisiac
Sapiosexual (n) is actually a word (who would’ve thought?) – according to the dictionary it’s a person who’s sexually attracted to the intelligence in others, so I guess I’ve found yet another word to describe me, because if you kiss my mind, my body will surely follow. Whoa, there is nothing like talking and spending time with people who mentally stimulate and challenge you. It’s a thing that will never stop being beautiful because to me nothing beats having deep conversations and debating with a beautiful mind.
I Need to Declutter
I’ve already brought about a new-found freedom to my life through decluttering, now it’s time to tackle the material things. I continue to accumulate stuff, stuff I don’t really need and in retrospect, I hardly use/wear a quarter of the things I own (not to mention they’re taking up way too much space). I don’t want these possessions to own me; I’ve realised that I don’t need things to make me happy, I just need the experiences and the right people by my side.
Sometimes being a Little Vulnerable is OK
The word ‘vulnerable’ holds many negative connotations, but I’ve learnt that allowing myself to be more real, more open, and a little vulnerable also heals. By allowing myself not to mask it, I’ve invited people into my life on more intimate and deeper levels. As long as you continue to look after your well-being and safety, vulnerability can be a powerful tool.
I Need to Stop Resisting
Change is inevitable in every person’s life and sometimes it can be a bitter pill to swallow. I’m trying my hardest to embrace everything, but there are those moments when I naturally waver, but I guess this is to be expected and all part of the crazy ride. I need to get a grip and start practising what I preach. I can’t and shouldn’t resist change, instead I need to just go with it – life should be a wondrous adventure, so take me away and let’s get lost somewhere beautiful.
I Don’t Have Control
Don’t you just wish you could wave a magic wand and cast a spell over people? Well, unfortunately, I’m not the Good Witch of the South and life isn’t a fairy-tale – I can’t control what people think, feel or do, and I can’t change anyone; change comes from within. This is something I’ll just have to get over, because if there’s one thing that I’ve learnt over the last year or so it’s this: what screws us up the most is that idealistic picture we have in our heads as how it’s all supposed to be.
My Body Really is my Temple
I’m finally back at the gym, I’ve taken up yoga and I’m also on an alcohol detox (just need to curb my chocolate addiction and I’m good to go)…my body’s probably gone into shock, but it’s amazing how good I feel, not just physically, but mentally. It’s definitely true what they say – a healthy body, a healthy mind, and I haven’t been this happy without reason for a very long time…let’s just say I’m in a good space and nothing or no one can bring me down.
Creativity Beats Reaction
Sometimes I can be an incredibly reactive person – I react to situations without any thought and deal with the consequences later. I’m re-designing my own destiny and instead of reacting to the shit life can often throw, I’m going to be more proactive and turn it into art.
Creativity and creation empower me, they expand me and they bring about many opportunities to grow and create beautiful things. I’ve got a great story to tell, and I’m going to tell it, in my words, in my screenplay…(I’ve just got to find the ‘perfect’ actors to cast and portray me).
Stay tuned to see if you’ll have a cameo role too…
My Words Matter
Words have so much power, and I’m definitely better at expressing myself through pen and paper (or should I say typing?) than speaking; words can inspire, grow love, but at the same time, if not used wisely, they can also destroy potentially beautiful things, and they can definitely destroy people.
I hate it when I just open my mouth and the wrong words come out. When the hell will I learn to think before I speak?
Sometimes I say things I don’t mean to say, sometimes I say things out of fear, sometimes my words are a wall, protecting the things that have been previously broken. This is something I’m trying to work on – once words are out, they can’t be taken back, and if left ambiguous, they’re open to interpretation. I don’t want to come across as indifferent in some aspects of my life, and if I’ve come across this way to you, I’m sorry.
In other news…
I can’t stand fake labels – they’re not only tacky, they rip off the real fashion houses. Fake designer bags, fake watches, fake sunglasses, fake Gucci t-shirts – please stop wearing them! But this is not my point! Finally, Louis Vuitton and Alibaba have joined forces to fight the sale of fake designer goods online. Louis Vuitton is one luxury fashion brand that continuously gets imitated, so this can only be a good thing, right? Samsung, Swarovski and Shiseido are just three other companies that have joined the 18-brand fighting alliance.
My new gym/fitness obsession calls for new gym gear. I know I said that I was going to hold off on the shopping for a bit, but I think I can make a few exceptions to the rule. I love the new Nike Zonal Strength Tights, and I absolutely love the new Nike campaign video in collaboration with FKA twigs, mostly because of the cool out-there dance moves, complicated yogic poses and inspirational quotes that really resonate with me now like: make a difference in the world, put your trust in me, and do you believe in more? Nike, watch out, I’m coming your way…(check out the cool FKA twigs X Nike collaboration below).
I do have a lot more to say, but right now, I can’t bring myself to say any of it, so until next time…