Touch Me Now

Confession time…

In some of my past relationships I’ve been told I’m way too clingy!

When I think of ‘clingy’, I conjure up images of constantly wanting to be with someone. That desire to always know where a person is and whom they’re with…you get the gist.

This is not me. I’m not ‘clingy’ or ‘needy’ in that sense, actually, I’m far from it!

It all boils down to my overwhelming need for physical contact.

My favourite place in the world is to be in a warm embrace.

Someone playing with my hair, holding my hand, laying their head on my shoulder and vice versa, massaging me when I feel sick, holding me in their arms…these are the things that earned me that not-so endearing title of ‘clingy girlfriend’.

I’m glad I don’t fall into that category of the stereotypical ‘clingy girlfriend’. There’s nothing worse than this, and to be honest, if my partner were the cliched ‘clingy type’, I’d probably be running a mile.

The truth is, I crave human touch. This to me is something that makes me happy, and I’m not ashamed to admit it, and research proves that there are actually many health benefits of touching. 

One of the most beautiful feelings in the world is when you hug a person you love tightly, and they then hug you back even tighter.

Over the years I’ve realised that relationships need work. In the past, I’ve walked as soon as something went wrong. Okay, yes, I’ve also walked because even after constant trying, the relationship failed, but that’s a different story. But I’ve also learnt that just holding a person or being held can bring me a lot closer to them, and according to science, a long embrace releases endorphins. There are a few other things that bring out that feeling of bliss in me, this includes a damn good sweaty workout; I think this is comparable – there’s sometimes no better feeling in the world than being hugged – it’s what fundamentally contributes to a fulfilling relationship whether that’s an intimate relationship with a partner or with a family member. I’m definitely a hugger, and people who’ve met me know this…
One day, a person will just grab you and hug you so tightly, so tightly that all of those pieces that were once temporarily broken will somehow just stick effortlessly back together again.
I’ve also learnt that holding someone improves intimacy. It can lead to a whole lot of unexpected fun. There’s probably some science behind this as well, but since science wasn’t my forte at school, I’m not exactly sure. I’m a big believer in nothing risqué, nothing gained…perhaps it’s the dopamine…someone enlighten me! But all I can say is that it does make you feel sexy. It makes you feel wanted, and surely this adds to the beautiful familiarity of it all.
There’s nothing quite like a mama-hug!
I live far away from my family. I miss them dearly and I’d do anything to be able to hug them on a daily basis. I remember being held in my mother’s arms after falling and continuously hurting myself (I was a very clumsy child). I remember when I broke down in tears after a break up and being held by my baby brother. I remember not so long ago, when someone tried to play with my mind and re-enter my life, which ultimately crushed me on what was supposed to be a special day (Christmas Eve) and my future sister-in-law just held me. I cherish those hugs when meeting friends and family members I haven’t seen in a long time, although those goodbye hugs are always a hell of a lot tougher…it’s amazing what that tight grip can do to me. There should be nothing embarrassing about a touch or a kiss with people you love – this is what strengthens that special bond, and this is something I’ll take with me when I eventually have my own children. I’ll hug my kids on a daily basis, kiss them, and rub their backs when they feel under the weather or sad just like my parents did for me.
Sometimes all you need is a comforting touch from the right person, and all that stress will just melt away.
This brings me to stress. I’m a bit of a stress-case. I tend to stress out about the most minuscule things. Exams, work, relationships, image, friendships…I stress about the details. Yeah, I need to let go of this, but again, for me, a simple touch or hug of reassurance can solve everything, even if it’s just briefly. At my weakest, I can freak out and suffer from mild panic attacks, but all it takes is a warm hold from someone I care about to reduce my racing heart and blood pressure. This is one massive reason why I’m an advocator of hugging – it improves my health and well-being. Forget binging on chocolate and wine, I just need a good old-fashioned hug sometimes.
To me, real chemistry is your ability to touch my mind and my body while setting everything on fire.
My body craves touch. I crave it like water. From the day we’re born, our sense of touch is already developed. From new-borns, we covet it. There’s no denying that we’re all born with the desire for physical contact. As we grow older however, showing our emotions becomes harder, and some people resist this action that just seems so natural to me. To me, this is a very hard concept to grasp as I consider myself to be a very tactile person and I know that I’ve often scared people away with my need to touch, caress and hold, but that’s just me – I need that contact, even if it’s just a short-lived 30-second embrace, your touch has the power to elevate my mood ten-fold.
Maybe you’re not convinced. Perhaps you think I’m a little OTT or even crazy. But know this, if I need your touch or I feel compelled to grab you and give you the biggest bear hug possible, know that you matter in some shape or form. Because when you’re lost for words, sometimes it’s just a silent hug that’s needed to say all those things that can’t be said.

2 thoughts on “Touch Me Now

  1. God did this speak to me. I haven’t had a big since before I went to jail over 9 months ago, the longest such draught of my life just about. I miss being touched terribly and it adds to my loneliness. Most days I just push it out of my head. This was a reminder of just how important it is to me

    Liked by 1 person

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