As I look out the window, I see that the sun’s threatening to come out. The North of England has been plagued by rain in the last month or so, and it’s really starting to piss me off. I guess it shouldn’t really come as a surprise – the UK is known for its rain, isn’t it? But I never actually thought that the English winters would be this shit…
Thank God the end is near, and trust me, spring and summer can’t come fast enough. I’m usually a positive happy-go-lucky person, but even I feel like I’m slipping and succumbing to those winter blues…late these blues may be, but winter blues are winter blues, right?
The year’s been crazy. I rode a wave of holiday cheer throughout December. It was a month of revelry and drinking, and at times it’s possible that there was more gin in my body than blood, but that’s a whole different story.
January was a month of highs and lows. I experimented with online dating, and I can safely say that Tinder blows, as to the guys on it! It was a month of self-improvement. Getting back to the gym and working towards a promotion at work (which I got btw).
Come February, I was entering a state of denial. All those positive reserves I’d stored up for rainy days had begun to run dry. More disappointments with men (if you can call them this), job uncertainity, a future with a massive question mark, and confusion of where I wanted to settle down and live all added to my winter blues setting in later than usual.
For all of you who laugh at the notion of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), it really is a thing…I’ve lived in colder countries than the UK before, think Switzerland, North China and Poland to name a few. I love snow, it’s just the constant drizzle of rain I can’t deal with. I’ve never experienced not wanting to go to work before and just pad about my home in my pjs up until now…day by day I felt myself morphing into my own (sloppier) version of Bridget Jones.
According to psychologists we have an estimated 70,000 thoughts every day. It’s a lot, and I question some people’s ability to think so much, but in essence, this means we’ve got approximately 70,000 opportunities to either build ourselves up or do the opposite – tear ourselves down!
I really found myself getting into a slump. It didn’t help that Mr. Tinder was super negative and an incessant complainer…thankfully he was put out to graze and I moved on to pastures new relatively quickly…
I had to find a strategy to deal with the pent up negativity. It was frustrating as hell, because usually, like I mentioned before, I’m really positive. I had to refocus on the positives, and most of all, I had to remember that simple word – gratitude; not only this, I also had to practise it!
I’m a grateful person. I also go out of my way to practise gratitude on a daily basis, but consciously practising it takes it to a different level – there are so many physical and psychological benefits of gratitude, and the number one benefit is of course happiness.
Saying what I’m grateful for has become part of my daily morning routine. As I take those precious first sips of coffee, I force my brain to search for the good in life…job, home, family, money, love…
It’s such a little thing, but it’s helped pull me out of a funk that those delayed winter blues had caused – I’m learning to be in love with my life, every single fucking minute of it – it’s awesome!