Behind every single successful woman out there – there’s a tribe of other successful women that has her back – I’m a firm believer!
There’s the smart one, the party girl, the mum of the group, the homebody, the Alpha female, the joker…there’s the Monica, the Rachel and the Phoebe or the Carrie, the Samantha et al. I have many types of girls that make up my friendship group (or should I say groups?)…
I’ve got my gals that lift me up when I’m going through a shit time. I’ve got ones who give me a little kick when I need motivating. I’ve got ones that energise me and encourage me to follow my dreams. And then I’ve got those who don’t even need to say or do anything – their presence alone just makes me feel okay.
I’ve got my tribe and I love them hard. My appreciation for my friends goes far beyond what any words could ever express. My friends are my life, they’re my heart, and I can confidently say I’ve definitely achieved my #tribe_goals time and time again.
My friendship group is diverse, which is something I embrace. My friends come from all walks of life. I have friends dotted around the world. My friends also have a diverse range of passions and interests. After my mum (who’s also part of my #squad), my friends have greatly shaped me – they’ve played significant roles in who I’ve become and who I am now.
My friends celebrate my successes; they raise their glasses to what I’ve accomplished thus far…they’re genuinely happy for my successes. My friends have also been there for me in my darkest times – they’ve been my shoulders to cry on, my rocks. And then of course, my friends are honest and straight up – they’ve never been afraid to put me in place…and this I’m thankful for.
But no matter what, even the closest of friendships aren’t 100% easy all the time. This is especially true as we grow, evolve or even reinvent ourselves.
Since my university years, I’ve (thankfully) changed considerably. My interests of drinking cheap alcohol and doing midnight food missions for pies and pizza to the local 24-hour shop are well and truly over. Those days are a far cry from the new me – the one who loves fitness, clean eating and reflecting.
Some people don’t get the new me. Admittedly, it’s been a lonely road at times, and this hasn’t always been directly related to my friends per se. It has sometimes stemmed from my own personal insecurities…
What I’ve learned along the way is that you don’t have to ‘get’ a person or understand why they’ve changed to still love and respect them…we’ve just evolved and transitioned into new lives, careers, relationships, cities…
Things change…people change (some for the better, some for the worse).
In the past, I did spend a lot of time trying to be the person I felt (at the time) I should’ve been…more outgoing, funnier, more fashionable, more of a socialiser, smarter…the list goes on and on. It may seem like a strange thing, but there’s one thing I’ve learnt in my life from my own experiences and from teaching teenage girls and that is it is not uncommon to try on various hats, especially when we’re trying to find and get to know ourselves better. But in the same breath, this trying on of new hats can also be incredibly detrimental to our mental well-being, especially if we’re trying to be people we’re not.
My own confidence in my new interests and the new me grew, and as it did, I was able to move boldly forward. And then it all made sense…the more confident I was with who I was, the more the people around me understood me.
Now I am an advocator of living a healthy life, although it’s never something I’d push on others. When I think of myself and my health, I think of two things – dieting and exercising. Healthy eating and working out are of course important to my wellbeing, but there’s also another element of my life that has absolutely zero to do with calories or sweat that’s just as important – my relationships, my friendships, my tribe.
Over the years I’ve definitely outgrown some friendships, because despite efforts, they didn’t get me and quite frankly I didn’t get them, and that’s fine. I always aim to surround myself with friends that do get me, but at the same time, these said friends also relish, embrace and celebrate differences. In short, we work as a team, we have one another’s backs, we enrich one another’s lives, and we set out to enhance one another’s lives in ways that are meaningful!
I’ve learnt that when I choose to surround myself by others who get me, I feel like I have more freedom to be my authentic real self – there’s no judgement zone!
I can honestly say when I feel ‘safe’, I feel less stressed. And this leads to more open and thought-provoking conversations, which is something I thrive on, because it’s exactly these types of conversations that I find intellectually stimulating; they motivate me, they inspire me, and they make me more creative and passionate.
On the other hand, I’ve also experienced people that have looked down on my interests or tried to undermine my knowledge or who I am. Once upon a time, I would’ve allowed this to consume me, however instead I’ve learnt to release such people.
I’ve found that when friends support one another, great things happen, and this is why I roll with goddesses!
To all my friends, I love you and thank you!